covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
