dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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