can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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