Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The uberlube is also flammable
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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