Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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