something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
