I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
being pregnant is like rehab
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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