I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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