wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
