There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize