i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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