someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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