He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize