that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
