At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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