I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
