I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
