how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize