He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
