he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
