my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
