I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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