the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm drive I can fine osifer
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
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He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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