she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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