Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
