I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
