just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize