I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
