I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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