Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My life is pants optional.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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