So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
don't judge my taste in strippers
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
