I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
last night I used snow as a chaser
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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