i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
