How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
