called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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