Dual....:-)
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
