pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize