There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
