I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
