i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
