I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
