she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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