I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
