You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
