dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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