i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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