i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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