Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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