dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
