How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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