Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
