once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize