I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
