omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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