just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i need some magic done to my vagina
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize