Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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