he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
