I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just had sex on a roof
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
