it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
